A bit of a different post today. As it's the school holidays, I wanted to share with you what we've been up to!
You may have seen on X that ever year I have a 'Yes Day' with my son to celebrate his adoption anniversary. For those who haven't seen the film (recommended if you want a silly family comedy), it's a day where the kids plan the whole day. This may send you into panic mode, but it can be a really brilliant experience for all, if you have a few ground rules in place.
But first before I give you the hints and tips needed to make the day a success, here's some info on why we do it and what we got up to!
What is an adoption anniversary?
So having an adopted child, you have more anniversaries than just a birthday. You have the date you first met, the date they first moved in, and the date that they became legally your child (to name a few). Different families commemorate these dates in different ways, and different families place different emphasis on each ranging from celebrations, to nothing at all.
We have always celebrated the date that 10 became legally our child. Partially because the date we met is his other dad's birthday, but because we had quite arduous journey getting to that stage, so it meant a lot to us. We've always called this his 'Yay Day' and we've had celebrations ranging from a big party to meals with just us.
Then last year 10 saw the 'Yes Day' film and there was only one thing he wanted to do from then on. So for the last two 'Yay Days' we've had a 'Yes Day'. From Laser Quest, to cocktails, we've had two years of organised chaos and a boatload of memories. To see what we got up to this year, check out the thread here.
Having your own yes day
A yes day can be loads of fun, but without some rules in place, it could end with the chaos that happens in the film (and I'm assuming you don't want that).
Here are the rules that we used for our 'Yes Day' and why I chose them. You can also download a pdf below.
It might sound counter to the idea of 'Yes Day' to have some rules, but trust me, the day is exhausting and busy as it is, and complete chaos wouldn't be fun for anyone.
Firstly, you need to establish exactly what time it begins; you don't want to be woken up at 12.01am! It's also important to have an end time so they can stop and enjoy the time you've given them, but also that they learn time management skills.
A budget is really important. Some of the best experiences we've had cost nothing or next to nothing. If it becomes all about spending and shopping, it could ruin the experience of the day.
Finally, planning is essential. Share the ideas and rules at least a week before. This gives them the chance to think about what they've done but also for you to book things that you need tickets or a slot for. 10 has tried several times to go some of these activities without booking and has been disappointed when we couldn't do them. But this is a good opportunity for learning about planning.
You must limit screentime. There would be nothing more boring than a yes day where you spend the whole day playing games. I have always encouraged 10 to save the screentime to the end of the day as it's surprising how tired they get and it's always good to have a film in the bag for the end of the day.
Finally, I get a lot of questions about how old they should be. I would say that any younger than 7 and they really won't have the ideas or the foresight to really make the most of the day. But you perhaps could do something smaller for them to give them the idea of what 'Yes Day' is all about. But go with your children and I'm sure you'll had a great time.
I hope you have an amazing 'Yes Day' and I'd love to hear about how yours went, so please get in touch if you do one.
Until next year's 'Yay Day'
Ian
Download the PDF here:
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